Dear Face,

It has been many long years since I've seen your reflection in the mirror.  Although, I will always think your nose is too wide, you have served me well. I must, however, take issue with you.  In case you didn't get the memo, I turned 31 last month.  It has been over a decade since I could be considered a teenager.  Why, then, must you cling to the bad habit of getting blemishes???  Today, a gigantic zit appeared on your forehead.  Enough is enough!!  I have four children.  I do not have time to wash with Clean and Clear 10 times a day-- I am required to do 10 loads of laundry and dishes instead.  If I wore a green mud-mask, those children would scream and go running. . . .I must therefore petition you to grow up already.  Clean up already.  I don't have time to deal with these juvenile issues.