Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The mom of a two-year-old

No one really explains what they mean by 'terrible twos.' Then there are the hopelessly optimistic or cheerful (or just hopeless) people who say, "You know, my son/daughter never really went through that stage." I have concluded one of two things about these people: They are lying OR it has been a few years since their child was two and they can't remember anymore.

Today was a terrible two-year-old day. I asked Roger to get his shoes on so we could go to the store. Happily, he responded, "Tay."

"Would you get your shoes so I can help you put them on? They are downstairs." This request of mine was the 'terrible' trigger.

"My shoes NOT downstairs!" Screaming and yelling ensue. "Dey not downstairs! My shoes NOT downstairs."

I then tried to expain to him (this is where the term 'falling on deaf ears' must have been phrased) that we had taken his shoes off at the bottom of the stairs this morning after we dropped the twins off at school. "NO!!" was his reply. "My shoes NOT downstairs."

"Yes, they are."

"No, dey not."

"Yes, they are."

"NO, dey not."

"Roger, your shoes are downstairs," I say as I walk toward the top of the stairs. "See," I point to the stairs, "I can see them right there."

"NO," he insists, "My shoes NOT downstairs."

At this point I give up my line of reasoning and opt for the distraction. . . .
"Look down the stairs, Roger. I think your car is down there."

"My Tar?" he asks and walks toward the top of the stairs.

"Yes. Look down the stairs." He looks. I subtly add (or not so subtly, but he is two after all), "Oh, there are your shoes. I see them."

"Oh, my shoes!" He exclaims. "I get dem."

He then proceeds to walk downstairs and grab his shoes. He brings them up, hands them to me, and announces, "I found my shoes! You help me put 'em on?"


P.S. On a somewhat, though not totally, related note: Have you ever noticed that when your two-year-old is having a tantrum in the store, someone walking by often comments, "Oh, your little guy must be tired."? Given this line of reasoning, all two-year-olds should actually be in bed for at least 20 hours a day. . . . . . . they are just tired after all.

7 comments:

Sarah@The Best Stuff said...

Oh my, I can SO relate! I don't know if it's been 6 years so I just don't remember how awful the terrible two's are, or if Lilian is just worse than usual. My mother-in-law claims that Lilian is the busiest/spoiled/into everything child of all 18 of her grandchildren. And that I must have the patience of Job to deal with her. Hmmm. Nice of her to say, eh?

The other day we were somewhat subtly encouraged to leave Cafe Rio because Lilian was running around shrieking at the top of her lungs. When I tried to put her on my lap her shrieks of glee turned into shrieks of outrage accompanied by kicking feet and hitting arms. It was SO much fun.

Lori said...

Hilarious! I have terrible two days all of the time. You sound like you've got it down though:)

Sean is 2 and almost a half and I'm really going to commit myself if I don't get it down soon:)

Heather said...

oh how i agree with you on everything!!!!!!!!!! i'm glad we are on the same page!!! :)

xoxo

WOLF-PACK said...

Way too funny! We had a few incidents like that, but for some reason, my kids were tyrants when they hit 3!!

The Cherry Family said...

So terrible twos must go into terrible threes. Or it's just Caleb's personality. :) And good job on the distraction method.

Kearl said...

I think the "terrible twos" have nothing on the "HORRIBLE threes". I love "helpful" people in stores. One day, I just want to say, "Oh, do you know us? You don't? I mean, I just thought that by the way you were commenting on my life that you knew me, but I guess you don't. Okay. Bye then."

Timani said...

Sleep 20 hrs a day...you are onto something!