A special post for Kelly

Dear Kelly,
I also have a nephew who reads the blog.  Like you, I think he feels funny leaving a comment as the only man. . . .so he emails me instead.  I think my brother is also a reader as well.  And, occasionally, my Dad.

Just so you know, you are not alone.

I did notice, however, that none of you men commented on my earrings.  What, are they not your style?  Perhaps something simpler would suit you better instead of the dangly ones.  I'll get on that right away.  What is your favorite color?

Oh,wait, I forgot that my husband reads as well.  I'm currently working on a charming bracelet for him.

A Random thought

While we were at dinner last night, the conversation turned to which kid got what part of each parent.  i.e. Roger has my nose, Eliza has Dad's ears, etc.  D made a comment that he thought Davis looked like he did as a kid, but he was more handsome.

Davis's response, "What?  Do you hate yourself Dad?  Do you want to call yourself stupid?"

We just looked at him for a second and then started laughing.

A Quick Vent

ARGHHH!!  My vacuum cleaner's belt broke a couple of weeks ago.  After finally grabbing a new one a few days ago, I was distracted in my task and ended up putting it down--somewhere.  That was 3 days ago.  I keep thinking it will turn up, but in the meantime the floors are building up layers of crumbs.  I just know that as soon as I go to the store to get a new belt, the other one will show up.

I'll take a chick with that shot

D's got a patient right now who's in his mid-twenties.  Yesterday, he asked D if he really needed a certain shot/procedure he's been getting daily.  D explained why it was important and that he really needed it.

The young man's response, "Well, can you at least bring some chicks with you tomorrow?"

D told me there are some cute nurses on the service right now.

Confessions of a stay-at-home mom

These thoughts have been weighing (no pun intended) on my mind a bunch lately, and what better way to get them out than to confess them on the world wide web- purveyor of all things private, hah!?!

It is with sadness I confess I think I've gained 3 or 4 pounds in the last month or so.  At least that's what the scale says, so I'm going with it.  I was first tipped off to this fact when my jeans started feeling tight this week.  They are even my fat jeans- I still haven't even attempted my regular, pre-pregnancy ones!  I have always struggled with my weight and have serious issues with my self-esteem on this matter.

Having said that, I am just fed up with the system!  Why is it that when moms get together they all have to confess whether or not they've been working out or if they ate a candy bar that day?  Why do we all sit and complain about our bodies and reminisce back to our pre-children days? Why do we feel so bad if the buttons on our shirt are puckering a bit?  Why?  Why? Why?  Why are weight and size an ever hovering thought in our mind? Why do we label ourselves as good or bad based on what we ate that day. What we eat shouldn't make us good or bad.  It is how we treat others, right? I am sick and tired of weight-loss commercials on TV.  I am tired of the 'get-healthy-today' bits on the morning show and their 'helpful?' tips on eating better or shedding calories in our diet.

When the twins were 2 years old, I started an exercise regime and had lost only 1 pound in six weeks with intensive exercise.  I was so fed up that I joined Weight Watchers.  It worked great for me.  I lost 30 pounds, but got tired of everyone complimenting my new figure and telling me how good I looked.  My day to day activities at 30 pounds less did not change one bit (aside from my running 4 miles instead of walking them for exercise). It made me frustrated to feel that my self-esteem was so affected by this change. What suddenly gave other people license to comment on my figure? My favorite was this, "Have you lost weight?  You look great!"  Then inside I would reply to myself, "Oh, I must have looked really bad before."

After some other struggles, perhaps the topic of another post, and a Roger pregnancy later, I was introduced to a book called Intuitive Eating.  It is a great book that talks about making peace with food and ultimately, with yourself.  One part of this process is to let go of the 'diet mentality.'  I actually thought I mastered this concept until I got on the scale this week and was supremely devastated with the number. Those feelings of self-doubt and wondering if I look totally bad right now are flooding back in.  Now I feel like I am stuck in this circle of fear wondering if my weight will spiral out of control.  This stress doesn't help me AT ALL to eat more healthfully.  I start eating crap because I know I will have to start another diet soon and those foods will be off-limits.

I have an amazing friend who is overweight.  She is the most wonderful person ever.  She's kind and sharing and positive.  I want to be just like her.  And really, she's beautiful- long curly blonde hair and gorgeous blue eyes.  She dresses beautifully.  She's a great mom.  She hasn't gotten a family photo in years because she's so embarrassed about her weight.  This makes me sad. I wish I could shake some sense into her.  I wish she could see herself like I see her.  But at the same time I can recognize some of her mistaken beliefs in myself.

So I am throwing this out there for anyone who has wisdom.

How have you made peace with food and your body?  I need help.  A prayer or two wouldn't be bad either.  I'll take anything I can get.

Hobbies

I frequently read about everyone else's trips and projects and, quite frankly, it makes me feel like I am a pack of poop.  I can't even keep my house clean.  I am not kidding.  As I take a look to my left there are toys all over the living room, and to my right, the kitchen table is covered with a stuffed tiger, the Book of Mormon (hey, at least I read), an empty baby food jar, a surgery text, and a Magic Treehouse Book.  I think I wiped it down after breakfast yesterday, but ummmm, it really needs another wipe down right now.

In another life, I loved making hand-made cards, sewed a quilt, scrapbooked, and even sat down to play piano on the side.  This doesn't really happen much (okay, at all) anymore. So, I figured I better post here that I actually am sometimes up to something productive. . . . for Christmas, I bought myself some beads and got a beading class for free.  I've made a few necklaces and bracelets, but have found that making earrings is simple and easy- mostly because I don't have to set up much or put away much.

So, yep, here's the proof of what I've been doing.  And it's really cheap.  I can make a pair of earings for a buck or so.  Aren't they cute?  (just say yes, even if you don't think so.  It will brighten up my day)