A tough night for Dr. Millar

D came home today a little discouraged (he's been on night float since July). First of all, he stopped off at the dentist to have two fillings (first appointment is 7:30 A.M.) so half of his face was numb. He was starving but was afraid to eat cause he thought he might bite his tongue or cheek-- man, having to see the dentist after a tough night-- just salt in the wound.

He had two laparoscopic appendectomies (lap-api's) that were really tough. He was operating with an older surgeon whose laparoscopic skills were not as polished or practiced (an old-school surgeon, so to speak). The first lap-api was a teen who had 'tough' anatomy. D could not navigate through his bowels and then ended up having to open him up to do a manual api. That frustrated him because he knew if his skills or experience with laparoscopic surgery were better (or the attending's) he might have been able to avoid cutting him open. The next appendectomy was a young mom who was at the hospital by herself cause her husband was home with the kids-- she couldn't get ahold of her mom. D felt bad for her. I guess they fire staples in some part of the surgery because D noted rather than the one staple which usually does the trick, she required more (6 or 7, I think) to close. He was worried that she might not heal as quickly-- which would just make life tougher for her in the following days. Again, he wasn't sure if the extra staples were something that could have been avoided.

I can only imagine how frustrating it must be to know that the one thing which you don't have-- experience-- is what prevents the most smooth outcomes. He is such a perfectionist and really struggles with this. The only thing that can cure inexperience is time, though. I tried to reassure him that I was sure someday he would someday be a great surgeon, but still, he worries. . . . .he's got a big legacy to live up to-- his father (a Duke-trained cardio-thoracic surgeon who has been asked to give training seminars around the world).

Such is life for a year 2 resident. . . . .