Mom

With Mother's Day practically upon us, I've been pondering about motherhoods ups and downs. Today while driving around I took a little walk down memory lane-- trying to remember the goofiest things about my mom. There are certain things that she will never live down in my mind (from funny to serious and in between):

1) The "Midas" Touch. She spray paints EVERYTHING gold-- it was our treat last month to witness the last fruit of her labor: a gold garbage can. Seriously, she can't stop. Even the concrete in the unfinished basement got a coat of gold last year. I think there is something about the fumes she likes, I can't come up with another reason? For about a decade during my teen years she went through a green spray paint phase as well.

2) The token vegetable at dinner: frozen broccoli covered with about 6 sandwich-sized blocks of brick cheese. This (un)-palatable dish is made as follows: the largest bag of Western Family frozen broccoli is emptied into a 9x13 pan. A gigantic brick of cheese is sliced into 6 pieces and layers onto the top of said broccoli. The finishing touch is a layer of saran wrap and oh, about 10 minutes in the microwave. The finished dish is half-scorched broccoli/half not-quite cooked, soggy broccoli covered with partially melted cheese. I was amazed to discover after I desperately was trying to lose weight with the twins that broccoli actually tasted good when steamed. This was followed by the discovery of many other vegetables I had never tasted before (okay maybe I reluctantly ate squash at Thanksgiving Dinner-- vegetables provided courtesy of my Aunts).

3) The dieting phase. I remember my mom constantly on her little stationary exercise bike. I also remember her staple diet food: popped corn mixed with fat-free cottage cheese and salsa. Sounds weird? You bet, I always thought so too! Having said this, she was always a great example to me about just exercising. She feels strongly that her mood is vastly improved with exercise and often asks me if I've been exercising when I'm down.

4) Singing and music. My mom's BA was in vocal performance so I grew up with singing. My mom makes up a tune for every occasion: "let's change your diaper, tra-la-la-la liper," or "one little arm goes in, tra-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, the other little arm goes in. . . ." (as you can see, tra-la-la was a stand in whenever the appropriate word couldn't be found). I find myself singing these goofy songs to my kids, too.

I remember being in high school and talking on the phone to someone who asked, "hey, are you listening to opera?" "No, it's just my mom." I had grown so accustomed to her singing that I just tuned it out. My mom lived at the piano. She wrote music. I was so proud of her when she sang. Some of my earliest spiritual experiences occurred when was listening to her perform a song about an important gospel principle. As I learned to play the piano, I would play her songs. Most of the ones she wrote were based on a gospel principle or a scripture. What a legacy!!

My mom's dedication to music also taught me an important lesson about tenacity. When I was in junior high my mom decided to try out for the Tabernacle Choir. She scored a near perfect score on the theory and sight-reading tests, but was not admitted to the choir immediately because the director felt her vibrato was too fast and might not blend with the choir. I remember my mom's disappointment after this rejection, but rather than give up, she started taking voice lessons. She worked soooooo hard. She practiced religiously and a year later was accepted into the choir. I was also impressed that she didn't quit her voice lessons after she made it in. She told me she realized she still had so much to learn. I've attended several of her recitals and am always amazed that her always beautiful voice can get even more rich and inviting. What a great lesson I've learned about tenacity-- not to mention the fact all of this was accomplished AFTER 4 kids!! This gives me hope for things I can pursue in the future.

5) naps and movies. My mom loves her naps-- and I think they are even more frequent now than ever. I am jealous of my sisters-in-law Jodi and Suzee who say they can't nap during the day. I wish I could make it through the day without one, but, just like my mom, when it hits 1:00 I just can't resist. My mom showed me via example that an afternoon nap was normal, and now I find I function so much better when I snooze for 45 min-1 hr in the afternoon.

6) Homemade and Bargain Buys. I love getting bargains just like the next girl, but I still laugh about the things my mom would do and make. To this day, my mom can't type, so all our posters for school were handwritten, programs for recitals--handwritten and copied. You name it, she did it by hand. And not all of mom's craft projects were a work of art. I am remembering these Christmas wreaths she made out of scraps of fabric that were--hideous (sorry, mom). During grade school she MADE our clothes (this was the era of leggings, legwarmers, and neon shirts). If it can be done by hand, mom does it by hand--even if it only saves a buck or two.

To this day, I know about what my Dad makes, what the house cost, and know that they only have my littlest brother at home. Thus, all the math in my mind says that they aren't hurting for money, but alas, mom STILL shops at Wal-mart and only buys herself the cheapest clothes. I can't figure it out! She complains about how much it costs to get her hair cut and CUTS IT HERSELF!!

I unfortunately, have not inherited her skill for frugality. If there is a choice, I always want the more expensive one. If it means making a birthday cake or buying one--it is a no contest. I think part of me is rebelling against the guilt I always felt for costing my parents money. My mom always let me know how much my lessons and classes cost and that I was so lucky and yada, yada, yada. Actually I think she guilted me out a little too much. I have the hardest time saying no to my kids because as I child I always wanted things, but knew I shouldn't ask for them because they were too expensive (typical first child-taking responsiblity for things that I had no control over).

7) My mom was converted to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints when she was 17. No one in her family showed much interest or support of this decision, but I firmly believe that she made the right decision. Her love of the gospel has taught us, her children to love Jesus Christ and follow his example. Her acceptance of the gospel in its fullness has brought countless blessings to our family. I am still amazed to this day that my mom's scriptures are totally marked up and beaten up-- this teaches me more about her testimony than anything. She is a woman who goes to the Book of Mormon and Bible to answer her questions. She is firm in her faith and testimony through the trying and difficult times in her life. She is a first generation member and has had to improvise sometimes because she didn't always have an example to follow. I think she did a great job!!

While reminiscing about this list, I've realized that I can never be exactly the mom to my kids that my mom was to me. My interests are not the same. My talents are not exactly the same. The only childhood that I have to draw from is my own, so it is strange to think that certain things like music which were such a strong influence in my life won't play exactly the same role in my children's life. I can't replicate the things my mom gave me, I only draw on them as I blindly try to mother my children. While sharing this thought with D, he said I shouldn't mourn the things that won't be exactly the same for my kids, because I will bring different skills and talents to their lives.

I love you mom, quirks and all--Happy Mother's Day to all us crazy ladies who are just doing the best we know how to!