Yesterday while picking up the kids from school, a friend commented that she was glad we (moms) didn't get report cards. Yes, I agree.
Lately, I feel like I could be the headliner for the latest tell-all video, "Moms Behaving Badly." Seriously, did my kids find the button? You know, the one that says, Push me and a tantrum will ensue. Why is it so easy for me to loose my cool when the kids start fighting? I seriously feel like I want to explode. I have pulled the car over twice this week and had a child get out-- and told them to find their own ride home. After about one second, I told them to get back in, but really-- isn't there another way?
My other failed attempt at controlling my temper was to tell the kids that I feel a monster growing inside of me that is about to explode-- that one doesn't scare them at all. The monster just rears its ugly face about thirty seconds after the warning.
Any tips on keeping your cool in times of trial? (by trial, I mean fighting, hitting, and whining of 5-year-olds).
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13 comments:
if you can find the answer~please share it with me because i lose my temper with my 3 and 5 year olds way too much. i think it's easy for the adversary to take over when i don't control myself so it's truly frustrating!
Camilla, you sound word for word, just like me. My kids have entered the most awful, hardest phase I have encountered so far. For the past month, they have begun fighting at least 90% of the time they are together. I can't STAND IT!
Honestly what truly helps me though is focusing on things that the prophets and other general authorities have said. And things I have read in the scriptures. Even right in the heat of those moments, remind myself how precious they are. Try to actually look at it from their side instead of concentrating on the fact that I am so sick of hearing it. (not always easy to do) Reading conference talks and pondering what has been said. I post especially touching quotes on my fridge to help keep me inspired. Most recently Elder Holland's talk really touched me.
Anyway, that's what I do. Doesn't always work. When it doesn't I give myself a time out so that I don't say things I will assuredly regret and have to apologize for and cry over and add to my pile of mommy guilt I carry around every day.
I would be a star on the "Moms Behaving Badly" video. I just talked to Kerri about this the other morning. Talking to her and knowing that I'm not alone made me feel better, but I don't change! I continue to damage their little spirits. I want to change and I don't want the years ahead to be affected negatively by what I'm doing now. AAAHHH! Will you be at the park tomorrow? We'll talk!
No tips but I am the SAME way!!! Thanks for helping me feel normal!
Let's just say it's a good thing you're the mom, not me.
I totally hear you!!!! I've been there for years and have gotten worse with time. They must like it when I yell.
I've pulled over this week also.
And, want a new one? Tell them to get in the car, you're taking them to foster care. Yep, done that. I'm a mean mom and I admit it.
I don't have a solution either. I think all of us Moms can totally relate. Right now, though, for some ODD reason I'm going through a more calm patch. I swear I can't figure out WHY??? I want to bottle it up and save it and understand it. The only thing I can figure is I'm looking at it as a trial God has given me and I need to attack it that way. AND---my main goal is to discipline/react BEFORE I get emotionally drawn in. When I get emotionally drawn in I always yell. Every single time. So I have to enforce what I ask them to do immediately so I don't get completely mad. Oy. That doesn't work well all the time, though. good luck!
Oh my gosh Camilla, that is EXACTLY what I have been going through this week! It even got so bad (for me) that I made it a prayer request at bible study.
Here's a few things I'm trying:
1) President Bednars advice(from the last conf.):Morning prayers and "spiritually creating my day" before temporally creating it.
2) Having dinner ready or already cooking when they get home from school, this allows me to do -
3) Split the kids up after school and move back and forth between the two of them. We all have a snack together, but then, right about the time they usually start the bickering, I split them up and get Bailey started on homework and take Calvin in another room to chat about his day or read a library book. They just cannot NOT argue when thy are together, and while I will have been having an awesome day, that whole thing can get shot to hell when they get home and start arguing.
Good luck and let me know your coping strategies too!
EEEEKK!!! Quoted on Mom's Mayhem! Kind of cool and a bit embarassing! Anyway...I'm glued to the comments on this one and looking for a parenting group.
Thanks for posting it! Let's hope someone has the answers to our prayers!
I'll be your co-star in the video Camilla. If you've read my blog recently, you know I've got nothing to offer. :)
We all have moments (mine are when I'm exhausted=no patience), but what has helped me the most is to literally say things in my head before reacting. Things like "Don't yell, you'll regret it after." or "You are 30 he is 3. Your too old to have a tantrum". It has helped a lot.
I clicked on the button to comment and realized after scrolling through everyone else's that I was going to say exactly the same thing! All this week, fight after fight with the girls and I have been terrible with them. So, no advice, but definite sympathy.
I have to remind myself all the time that they are JUST KIDS, they don't MEAN IT. I always make sure I say sorry and give them a big hug after I totally flip out.
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