Escapades on the ski slope

First of all, can I just say I love this picture? It was taken first thing on the mountain--and the smiles didn't last that long (how's that for foreshadowing?).

After talking to friends and acquaintances, we decided the kids were probably old enough to try their hand at skiing. D swears he remembers being 4 and whizzing by his mom on the slopes. . . .we'll have to ask his sibs if this is right or not.

The stars were all aligned on Martin Luther King Jr. Day. The kids didn't have school, and D didn't have work. After much debate, we decided that maybe I shouldn't ski in my current condition. It made D a little nervous to take the two kids by himself (rightfully so as it turns out). We tried to rope in my Dad, but he'd been out of town the week before and felt he needed to put in a day at the office. By this time the kids were too excited for D to back out so D decided he'd be heading up the mountain alone.

The morning started out with an EARLY breakfast and two uncontrollably excited twins. D decided that he would go to Brighton Ski Resort because kids ski free, and the resort brags about a little escalator-like lift on a kiddie slope that you step onto and your skis get caught in the teeth as is wisks you up the hill--no scary chair lifts for your first run.

After a short lesson in 'the wedge,' D decided they should head on up the escalator. To D's shock, at the end of the lift, he and the kids were greeted by a narrow, and somewhat steep alleyway. Yikes!! The kids were scared out of their mind and fell over multiple times as they tried to descend to a flatter spot. . . . . . well, I guess I should say, this scared the pee-pee dancers right out of Eliza, because she started screaming, "Dad, Dad, I have to go pee! I have to pee! I have to pee!"

D tried to calm her down, but to no avail--he was at the top of a slope (albeit a beginner slope) with 2 five-year-old who couldn't quickly ski down to the lodge. D couldn't leave Davis alone on the hill and carry Eliza in his arms. So with Eliza screaming at him, "I'm going to pee," he tried to guide them down--but the damage was done quickly, at the top of the hill. Eliza peed. Down her leg, Soaking her pants. Out of fright? Maybe.

So, the first run of the day was marred by a screaming girl who let everyone know she had peed her pants, and it itched, and she was wet. She was totally unprepared for any teaching, and frankly D was frustrated. He got the kids down the mountain and into the lodge on survival mode--one kid clutching his ski pole, with the other one in between his legs in a wedge.

So they clunked their way into the bathroom. Eliza was crying the whole way--embarrassed and frustrated, I'm sure. It is at this point that I must wonder at my child's logic. Why? Why didn't she say she had to use the bathroom earlier. She must have been too excited and distracted. D probably was just ready to get up the mountain and forgot to ask if anyone had to go. . . . .bad circumstances.

So now D is in the men's bathroom, clutching a pair of pink panties under the hand blow dryer, jamming it in every 30 seconds to keep the flow of hot air on the wet undies. Eliza is in the stall--D said it was about 15 feet from the blow dryer, ahh men's bathrooms, too many urinals. She is crying that she is naked and wants to get out--but, clearly that wouldn't have been a good idea in the men's bathroom. Ski bums are coming in and out of the bathroom flashing looks at D-- ranging from rolling their eyes to out-and-out pity. I'm sure they are thinking this man's ski day has been perfectly ruined by his whiny daughter.

Where is Davis? He is walking from one end of the bathroom to the other. First patiently, then he lets Dad know he is bored, then he declares he is now hungry-- dying of hunger as a matter of fact.

Finally, the eternity under the blow dryer is done. One pair of Eliza's leggings are put into a baggie, the panties and second pair of pants are securely on Eliza, who is perfectly fine now, "Oh, Dad, my pants are even warm!!" Grunt, grunt, roll eyes from Dad.

At this point, D is wondering if he should just bag the whole trip, but with 30 dollars in ski rentals for the kids, 30 dollars for new ski socks apeice, and D's lift ticket, he feels he is too financially invested in this venture to give up now. . . . . .but, there is the little matter of Davis, complaining about his hunger. So, they get some food. It is, of course, at ski lodge prices. D gets a few sandwiches, a couple of bags of chips, and a drink for the outrageous price of 20 dollars.

By now, it is 12:00. Everyone is fed, rested, and feeling renewed--so D decides they can do this. He makes the executive decision to forgo the escalator. The crew of three make their way to the lift. D says it is torture to get 2 children 10 feet in line--their skis keep getting crossed and they fall often. People are giving him looks of encouragement or pity, but still he persists. Finally, they are on the chair--no one falls off, and the kids are thrilled to be so high in the air. Miraculously, they make it off the chair without anything going awry.

D then takes the kids on their second run of the day--again with one child clutching a ski pole and the other in between his legs. They make it down the slope. And do it again.

After two runs, D's back is killing him and he tells the kids it is time they tried on their own. Off they go--D is praying that no one gets killed. Davis takes off, and instead of using his wedge to stop, sits on his bum, parallel to the hill-a crash ensues. Davis screams, and from the sounds of it, there must be blood--miraculously, he is clean. No bones appear to be broken. No blood. Just shattered 5 year-old egos.

Then it is Eliza's turn. She crashes--but, miraculously laughs about it and stoically gets up. They try again and go a little farther this time. Davis actually stops well. Eliza crashes to stop, but this time wasn't as bad. D can not be in two places at once so he has to follow one child and pray for the other one. . . . The low point of the day is when Davis crashes right into another child who has crashed before him. Luckily, Davis is a small kid and just kindof bumps off the other kid. His parents seem to understand.

I think they did one run after that. By the end of the day, Eliza has a smile on her face--she's actually enjoying herself and getting the hang of things. Davis, however, is not so sure. He really takes crashes hard and tells Dad he is ready to go.


And, thus, I give you the pictures D took on the slope:

In photo A, you can see Eliza has forgotten about embarrassing potty incident hours before:

While in photo B, Davis's look truly says a thousand words, "GET ME DOWN THIS MOUNTAIN NOW!!"

Moral of the story: Don't ever take 2 beginnners skiing at once AND paying for an instructor is probably worth it (that's how I learned to ski and can't recall a single bad memory-even when I fell down)